It's A Part Of Life

Dealing with depression for some people becomes and every day thing. It's not a rough patch or a blue day. It's an on going battle. For people dealing with depression they get their one good day to our one bad day.
Can you imagine walking around all day, every face you saw, every movement you've witnessed, you had a negative thought about?
Can you imagine what must be going through some ones mind in that time of committing suicide?
They know every one thinks they are weak. They know every one will hate them after it's all said and done. They know, that their spouse, child, parent, sibling will carry around that burden for the rest of their lives.
In the end, does any of that really matter, in times of silent high pitched screams that only you can seem to hear? You can't Seem to focus on the good things in life because they all seem so distant. There is nothing good in your life. So you end it.
It's quiet now. No sister to bug, no mother to cry too on your bad days, no father to tell you that your shirt is nearly to small to be wearing to school. No one to point you into a healthy life style. Your soul matters. YOU matter. No matter what you may feel now. YOU do matter. I may not know you but, to me YOU DO MATTER. This world with out you wouldn't be the same. The world needs you. Only because your story can and will save a life. Be strong. I know you have been strong enough for long enough, but be stronger for a little bit longer. At least to catch your breath and get passed this moment of suicidal tendencies. Breath for a day longer to see if your really want to go. I don't want you to go. I want you to stay. Stay here. If you don't have any friends, I will be your friend. If you don't have a sister, I will be your sister. Stay here. Please stay here. Don't go! Please don't go!

depression

Hi guys it's ☆ Star here,

So i have to say that i have been going threw a very rough patch. I was off my meds for about 5 days. It was very hard. I had thoughts of suicide everyday. And contemplated doing it. I was waiting on my meds to be approved from my doctor. I am back on them for now 2 days and have a relief of some what. So just know your not alone.

Where I Stand

I am starting to learn where I stand in life, I am minuscule. Just a grain of sand in this gigantic sandbox we call life. People shove me into a sand pale, and I am sculpted into their liking. If not sculpted properly,  then I am poked and carved with sticks to be what is more appealing to the eye. When sculpted into perfection, then I feel the water shoes trampling over the hours of hard work to build something bigger, and better. With every step digging into my soft damaged heart.

I would rather be a sea shell, that when found I am instantly put into a pocket for safe keeping. To where I would be handled with care, and soft strokes to dust off the grains of sand that I was once buried under. Then put on a shelf for every one to view my beauty. Where people enjoy my unique engravings that make me so special.

Worthless.....WORTH IT!!!

I have been called Heartless. Even though I help others in need, and hug those who hurt. I cry when animals are abused, and babies Get really sick, or die. I feel others emotions from across the room. I hate seeing the elderly lose a loved one they have spent most of their lives with. Knowing that someday soon, they too will let go. I help Snails cross the side walk so they don't get squished by the passer by-ers.  But, I'm heartless.

I have been told that I have a Blackened soul, Even though I forgive those whom have hurt me. I have loved from the deepest of my ability. But, my soul is black.

I have been called Fat. Even though I am 5'1" and weigh 110 lbs. I eat very lightly, but everything on my plate. But, I am Fat.

I have been called UGLY. I am aware that the freckles on my skin may not be attractive to every one. I  myself do not like them. I have been told a few times they are beautiful. They are costly to remove. I have had skin cancer removed once in high school, and my chances of it returning, are even double. But I am UGLY. 

I have been told I am too Quiet. I never talk and they can be weird. My thoughts don't always have to come out of my mouth. Perhaps I was saving myself an ass beating. Just because we all have an opinion that doesn't mean we always need to voice it. Some things are meant to be voiced. Things that make the world a better place. Other then that, I stay quiet. But on paper, my words flow out easily, like the mouth of a huge river. But, I am too quiet. 

I have been told That I am Selfish. Forgive me, If I am selfish. I take my belongings to a personal level. I respect them, I want to keep them safe. I walk around every day with a smile on my face that masks so many fears, and so much pain so other won't feel what I feel. I wanted to finish Veterinary school so I can get into animal rescue.  But, I am selfish. 

 I have been called Weak. I have spent a lot of my childhood in and out of homeless shelters with my mom. I have eaten old and stale hot dogs and mac and cheese. I saved my mom from getting beat by an ex boyfriend but kicking him in the dingle berries. I have been shoved into a freezer and locked in there at the age of 12 by a "father figure" to teach me a lesson for yelling at him for slamming the fridge door while him and my mom were fighting. But, I am WEAK. 

I have been called Worthless. My mom worked hard to provide for me. She nearly went to prison and she changed her ways for me. She quit drinking cold turkey for me. I knew we were struggling so at the stores If i wanted a toy I'd ask, "How much is this, mom? ". She would reply with "$1.99."
I would trade it in for a .99 cent toy to save my mom that whole dollar! But.... I am worthless.

You see, people say things with out thinking about them, All these names that I  have been called Do not make sense. Yes, I am NOT perfect. I have made so many mistakes (bad ones) that I can't even count on one hand. I grew up thinking I was a terrible kid. Bad mouthing my mom, saying rude and ungrateful things to her. As an adult she told me, I wasn't that bad of a kid. It made me realize, Words are words. They may mean something but, they mean what you want them to mean. Our actions speak louder then words do. Even if some says I am heartless, I know I have a Heart.  I do kind things, and I do my best to make people smile. I am NOT HEARTLESS. My mom gave up so much for ME, I am NOT WORTHLESS. You are not WORTHLESS. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Earned IT!

I absolutely love this song only because of the feeling it gives me. It's a very sexy song! On top of that it makes me feel appreciated just by listening to the song lol! I have personally never seen or read The fifty Shades Of GREY. I'm guessing this is where the song developed from. So here it is, Earned It- The Weekend

Emotional World, Good and Bad

We live today in a world of people whom don't understand true emotion because it's bred into them. It's bred into them to be strong all the time. Hide your true feelings and you won't get hurt. When some one gets hurt, we rely on the world to help us fight it. How can we rely on the world when it's such a nasty place? Truth of the matter is there is good and bad in just about every little aspect in our lives. There are good apples and bad apples, There are great doctors and there are terrible doctors. There is good and bad every where and in every thing. The difficult part is picking out the bad from the good based on what signals they put forth. Some are better with their signals, and some are silent alarms. Silent alarms meaning when they are alone, they blare, they blare so they could be heard if some one was really listening. Be honest with your self. If your hurting, talk about it. If family or friends don't want to listen, then some one some where will. I will. I will listen. Don't hide your feelings. Talk about them. Where your heart on your sleeve. You have been strong enough for long enough. Strong enough to walk through a horrible world and still hold that beautiful smile for as long as you have. Let it go, and be weak for just one minute. Cry into a pillow, yell at the top of your lungs, go on a long run and run until your legs burn like hell. Once you do... you might start to see things change. The mask lifting and you healing.

Then and Now

I suffered social anxiety and Depression in High School. In high school my depression and social anxiety were a little more discreet then in today's case. In other words, I hid it very well. I laughed with my friends, I smiled at passing students in the hall, I went to parties at the lake and had a good time. On the out side. On the inside there was a whole different realm of my life that no one even knew existed. I played it off like my every day life was wonderful. I never talked about it. Years went by and things were great! I was happy, I loved every waking moment of my life. Then one day ot of the blue, I got sick. I felt different. I felt like I always had a piece of toilet paper stuck to my shoe. Whether or not I knew the people around me. I felt like they were digging for a solution to loath my every being, as much as I already do. In all reality they probably barely even noticed that I'm even there. This time, my battle seemed un- resolvable. I felt completely and utterly alone. Now I know, I have "Some" real friends I CAN rely on if I need them. The saddest thing is, Id they are people that I have never even met. They are miles away, or even in a different country. Real Friends are real friends. No matter the distance.

MVM: 1st Lady- Missing You

This song Made me cry the very first day that I heard it. I instantly thought of my brother, my sister, my grandparents, and all my lost friends. I miss you! Many people don't know that depression can begin with losing a loved one! It's ok to grieve any way you need to. Its the pain YOUR feeling. YOU handle things differently, and that's ok.

1st Lady- Missing You

MVM: Enrique Iglesias- HeartAttack

Enrique Iglesias- HeartAttack

MVM: When I Look At You- Miley Cyrus

I know not very many people are big fans of Miley Cyrus. I myself am not either. This song is a beautiful song no matter who's behind it. 

Miley Cyrus- When I look At You

I am WEAK, I am STRONG, I am ME!

I wrote this on a very low day. I felt very down and alone. So when you read this keep in mind this was not written on a good day. I wanted to show every body that even though I feel as if I am better now, You'll always have down days. People struggling with depression, Don't "JUST GET BETTER". Time just makes dealing with the disease easier. It never fully goes away! Any ways- Here's my rant/epiphany. 





I'm not gorgeous. I am not smart. I do not spend hours a day on my hair and make up. I don't turn heads when I walk into a bar or club. I am not a show stopper. I am not toned or tanned. I do not have extensions or an expensive color weave. I do not get a manicure or pedicure every two weeks. I don't have perfectly white or straight teeth. I may not be "fun" to be around at all times. I have my faults. I hate myself more then the average hater at most times of the day. I make mistakes. I am not perfect. I have meltdowns just like any other girl. I'm not a talker. I over think everything. I second guess my thoughts. I don't believe I'm worthy of good. I believe I deserve the bad I get.But I am caring. I love to the deepest levels in my heart. I think about those who are struggling every single damn day. I give when I have nothing left to give. I forgive, even when people deem it to be unnecessary. When I laugh, I laugh with honesty. When I hug, I hug with true love and Friendship. I would rather kill myself inside silently then openly hurt some one. Seeing men cry is a huge weakness. Seeing mother's losing children tears me apart limb to limb. The elderly tug at my heartstrings. I'm a sensitive soul. I may not be strong in your eyes. But it's now that I'm realizing, I am strong. I have a beautiful heart and that's really all the beauty I need to accept in myself. Not a dream glimpse of the girl I can't be. I need to be the girl I can be. The girl I am. Even if I don't like her I need to learn to love her. Respect her.

Free Hugs Experiment!

I love this video! This video sends out so much love to the world it's almost ridiculous! Can you imagine how many people, who where having a horrible day, walked away with a smile, a happy tear, a glimpse of hope! I totally Am inspired to do this video! I will be doing my own free hugs experiment! :) For those whom have not seen the video here it is! Send love!

Secretly

There are so many individuals that are walking around secretly hurting right now. As I type this out another young soul dies by their own accord. Another girl is being raped, another young boy being bullied at school. Too much bad in the world, it's almost clear as day why we are all struggling depression. There used to be so much beauty, Some days I still find beauty in the world, but it's more bad then good. I want to be a change that brings light into this dark place that we all inhabit. Let me be that light in your dark world. If your feeling down and suicidal please contact me! I want to help you! I know I may not know you, but I do care. I believe every life to be precious. Even when it seems like every body else has a different opinion. You don't have to battle it secretly, open up to me! I will do my best to give the most honest answers I can. Hopefully save your life!
Depressionangels@gmail.com

MVM- The Script I'm Yours

This song is beautiful on so many different levels. 

The Script- I'm Yours

MVM: Jamestown Story- Goodbye (I'm sorry)

Those whom Dealt with depression in the extremes, knows what it's like to feel like your trapped, Like your unwanted. When I first stumbled across this song, I felt the world was against me. I felt like I had no where to turn. I was lost in my own mind, with only one thought, To stop it all. I never want any of you to get to that point. If you feel like you've weighed your options, and no body will listen.... I WILL! Email me! I will with you!

Jamestown Story- Goodbye ( I'm Sorry)

MVM: Tenth Avenue North- Worn

Every body knows I dig those Churchy Rock bands. But this song is beautiful. I hope you enjoy!!!

Tenth Avenue North-Worn

Update:

Hello Our dedicated followers. I do apologize that the posting has come to a minimal, but I have been super busy with repainting my entire house. I have to say I'm super satisfied with the color. Im going to be over posting today to play some catch up! So I hope you all enjoy. Don't forget to +1 our page :)
Have a blessed day my Angels!

The Walls Crumble

I was at my sister in laws Birthday Party. Every one was laughing and having a good time. Although I was having an alright time, I felt very out of place. Although I knew them all very well, it seemed as if it was the first time I was meeting all of them. I couldn't come up with my witty responses. I felt mentally and socially confused. We were there for about three hours with only a few words coming out of my mouth, one being "nice to see you all again" as we were walking out the door. During the car ride home, my husband asked if I was okay, My response was obvious. "Yeah.... I'm fine". When in reality I was freaking out in my head as to why I couldn't hold a single conversation with people that I have met on numerous occasions. I was baffled, and didn't know what was going on with me. I stumbled over everything I wanted to say and couldn't get it out right. It sounded as if I was a toddler learning to talk for the first time. I couldn't believe it. I've noticed over time, this has been getting worse. I question everything I'm about to say. To make sure I don't sound like an idiot, and the more I focus on that the more I sound like an idiot. Some call it cute, I call it damn annoying that I can't get what I want to say out!!!! It was frustrating. Then I have realized in times of social gatherings, such as birthday parties and what not, I get a sense of anxiety. I can't shake it, no matter how nice the crowd is or how comfortable they try and make me feel. It's starting to feel, as if all my walls are crumbling even though everyone else's around me have a sturdy foundation. I'm so confused.

Lead Me

Beautiful Song

Music Video Monday

Sanctus Real- Lead Me

Light Up The Sky

Light Up The Sky- The Afters

YOU ARE MORE!!!!!!!!!

This is my favorite song! I listen to it every day. To remind my self, That I am more, then what I am feeling now. This will pass. I want you to know that you are more! I care about you whether I know you are not. You are more.....by Tenth Avenue North

Give Me Your Eyes

I relate to this song quite a bit. I see things slightly different. I sit and watch people as I sit in an office, or car ride, or department store.... I wonder their story. I wonder if they hurt. I wonder if they have any similar stories to mine. I wonder just how unique we are. I wonder their current mood, their intention..... I wonder if they had a hug today or a simple compliment. I wonder If they have smiled genuinely today. 

Smile!

Smile...The worst is yet to come.

Always Lost In Thought

Losing Sight

Sometimes we all lose sight of the things that matter. We let material things get in the way of the things the really matter. Things like who has the newest Phone, who has the fanciest car, who makes the most money. We need to let those things go. Obviously we need money to live, but don't let it run your life. You may not have the biggest house, but at least you have one. If you don't have the latest phone, so what... that doesn't mean your any less cooler then any body else. Don't lose sight over things that will eventually wind up in the donation pile, or in the trash. Love your family, love your friends. They make life worth it, not material things.

Please Share the Word.

Hello all! We appreciate you all popping in and checking out our site. We had just launched, and just with in hours we are getting amazing feedback. We would really appreciate it if you'd give our page a +1 and a share we would be ever so grateful. Thank you again for taking the time to stop in a read whats going on. This site is to help People battling or that have battled with depression. If you or some one your know is battling depression please link them to our site! WE WANT TO HELP, NOT BECAUSE WE HAVE TO..... BUT BECAUSE WE WANT TO! Help us make a difference. Know the signs. Step in and help them fight back against this draining illness.
Have a good day, and God bless you! (Sorry if that offended any one)

Just because They say they are okay.....

Just because some one says they are okay, doesn't mean they are. It means they could be battling something they feel you don't care to hear about it.... let them know you care. I care.  

A Big Hello!

A huge hello to our followers and readers. This site was launched no longer then a couple of hours ago and we are already getting amazing feedback. We are here to help people in times of depression. If your feeling like there is no where else to turn please, turn to us. We will not give up on you and we will try to never make you feel that way! Have a great day and again welcome to the site! We hope you enjoy and find our site helpful!

LADIES!!!!

Ladies, I wanted to remind you that you are beautiful. Just because you believe some one else to be pretty that doesn't mean your ugly. It just means your definition of pretty is a lot different then your eyes' definition of pretty. Remember.... You are beautiful. 

Hearts....

This is a very true statement. Our hearts are so unique they differ from one another in one way or another. Although some may have the same beliefs and morals, they will react differently in different situations. So be kind to those who are struggling. Not all of us wear the same armor. 

Respect Your Elders

Respect your elders. Even if they don't deserve it. I believe that there is good in you, even though the people around may not seem so good. So shine on with your good. Change a life. 

What You Say Can Be So Contradicting

Don't demand love in return

I Smiled Today

7 Facts About Depression

Welcome to Our Page

This page was created to show that the people battling depression secretly or openly are not alone. You are never alone in the battle for happiness. We know it can be a struggle. We know the weight your feeling on your shoulders. We know it can weigh everything down. We want to be here to help Lighten it up. Take a little bit of weight off your shoulders. We will be posting videos, meme's, blogs, testimonials, ect here in a bit.


This site is still under a little bit of construction. With in time we will be providing an email address for those who need to talk just to relieve some stress. We are not licensed professionals, but we would like to help any way we can. For those of you who are not religious we respect that and we still welcome you. We will not try and offend you with in any of our posts.